I’m going to be talking about my five best tips for coming out of the closet this video is dedicated to one of the entries that came in from my what do you struggle with survey that I had out a couple weeks ago and I promise to read all of them and create content around entries to help you guys if I can and I think this one’s a very necessary one because any gay guy knows how hard it is to come out of the closet and if I can make someone else’s coming-out experience much easier then I’m doing a pretty fucking good job at life I think and plus I’m gay and it’s a topic that’s very close to my heart so I’m not going to name the person who sent this in but their message said I would love to come out to my sister and my parents but my parents are homophobic as far as I know and I’m just scared to tell my sister about it because well it’s hard to do and can I just say absolutely it is fucking hard to do so without further ado let’s get into my five tips for coming out and just quickly tip number five today is probably the most important tip that I have for you so make sure you hang around to the end of the video and you’re going to see why and if any of you guys are watching this video are gay and open to sharing your coming-out story and tips please make sure you leave a comment in the section below so we can help anybody that needs to come out of the closet in the near future because you know how important it is as well so if you are comfortable with sharing the story please post it below okay okie dokie so tip number one is to be okay with yourself first and what I mean by this is to be truly at peace with the fact that you are gay inside a lot of my time in the closet was me fighting against how I was actually feeling and I was really certain about the way I felt about boys but I felt like it was wrong to feel that way and not until I accepted that myself was I ready to even speak about it with anyone else so I also think that’s really important because if you are really beating yourself up inside and can’t cope with the fact that you’re gay now imagine if you unleash it and the people around you don’t accept it either it’s going to be two negative forces equaling a really bad result and as long as you’re ok with it yourself you at least have one person you can count on and that’s you so tip number one is to take a step back accept that this is who you are and work on embracing it because you sexuality is beautiful it is normal you just need to do a little bit of reprogramming in your mind and you’re gonna be just fine okay okie dokie so tip number two is to be aware of your timing and what I mean by this is at what point on what day are you going to do this this is really important because certain situations can make people ie friends and family behave in a different way if I were you I would avoid all high-pressure environments like parties seasonal holidays anything like that etc because you just never know how someone’s going to react under pressure for example let’s say two moms 48th birthday coming up this week and her own your dad are running around like headless chickens trying to prepare for her party it might be better to wait until the week after all the shenanigans and the party to actually tell them that you’re gay even if you get a bad reaction from them at least you took their feelings into consideration and you’ve done all you could you dropped it at the right time okie dokie so tip number three I really want you to remember this when you get cold feet about anything not just coming out because every time I plan something then chicken out for whatever reason this method really seems to work what I want you to do right now is imagine how it would feel if you were to come out of the closet and you had nothing to hide it would feel pretty damn good right well what I suggest you do is articulate all of this and all those good feelings down into one sentence on a piece of paper just write it down the reason writing it down is important is because when you actually go to come out or do something that’s nerve-racking you’ll get very nervous a thousand things will race through your head and the last thing you’re going to think of is the end result of how good this is going to make you feel after you do it and it doesn’t matter how many times you go to do it and then postpone it go back to your piece of paper remember the benefits of the action and then I promise you your motivation will get bigger and bigger and bigger each time you do it I find the more I drill the benefits of an action into my mind the thirst for the benefit becomes so much stronger and I’m five more times likely to go through with whatever it is like plan to do so I would definitely definitely definitely recommend doing that step just get rid of paper out remember why you are doing this freedom okie dokie so tip number four if your parents are going to go bonkers and make sure you give them time to adjust okay yes you deserve their love no matter what yes you’re the same child that they’ve always loved and yes it can be really uncomfortable not feeling accepted by your parents but chances are if they are good parents they we’ll come around eventually right you might have parents that say oh so the fuck what we always knew and in that case you’re really lucky bastard however if things don’t go down so smoothly just remember although that you’ve had all of this time in your own mind to accept this and mull it over your parents haven’t yet and they might indeed be very very sharp so having a level of understanding about this will definitely come in handy when all the fireworks go off or if they go off and it’s very important to remain calm and collected even if they are going bonkers because if you behave like irrationally in this situation as well it just adds more fuel to the fire and it just creates more negativity for yourself which you don’t need so no matter the reaction stay calm and if it gets too hectic just remove yourself from the situation as quickly as you can and now for the long-anticipated tip number five the one I believe is the most practical and the most important this might not affect everybody but if you know that your parents are going to react really badly to this make sure you’re self dependent I cannot stress this one enough and the reason that I say this one is the most important is because if you aren’t self dependent as in you don’t have a source of income you don’t have a job you don’t have another house to go and live in other than the family home and your parents don’t take this well and they really want to be a pack of fucking cunts about it well hello you’ve now just given them the power to control not only your happiness but your entire life as well so I’m really lucky that I never had to deal with this but I get young guys saying to me a lot I really want to come out so badly but I think my parents will disown me and honestly if you think that your parents will disown you or try and change you for this I really really feel deeply for you because I could not imagine what that would feel like but the best advice that I can give you is wait until you’re out of home and supporting yourself never ever ever give anyone the power to control your happiness okay it’s the biggest tip I can give you because you have every right to be who you are without being changed and no one is allowed to change you but you okay I cannot be any more serious about it and if holding it in for a little bit longer means you can avoid being exiled from the family or being controlled beyond belief then I would lean way more towards that option because there’s so many other ways that you can still express yourself and get it out like joining online forums you can find other people in similar circumstances you can tell me here on this channel you can do whatever you can to get comfortable until you are self dependent and then you can tell your mom and dad it is the biggest tip I can give you okay so yeah if you guys do have really relaxed parents then you are so so so lucky but in tip number five is pretty much for all those guys that think that their parents are gonna disown them honestly it’s like I can’t explain it enough so yeah guys that’s my five tips for coming out I hope that you found this useful and if any of you use these tips please make sure that you write to me and tell me about your coming-out experience because this part of your life I think is so special and so beautiful and I’d love to hear about it alright and again for any of my fellow gay guys out there that have come out of the closet if you’re open enough to share your experiences please put them in the description box below so anybody else that hasn’t come out can see them and maybe get some inspiration from you I did also want to leave you guys with another awesome quote from my five minute journal and this one’s actually about fear so it’s totes relevant and the quote is it seems to me the less I fight my fear the less it fights back if I can relax fear relaxes as well and that one’s by Elizabeth Gilbert alright guys so that’s it I’m looking forward to reading all of your coming-out stories and if you have any struggles make sure you let me know and if I can help you with them.
Align:start coming out is a big moment you’re letting someone else into a part of your life that few people have tread a secret that you may have carried for a long time some of you may have lied pretended to be someone you’re not others may simply have kept silent if you’re lucky you have an incredible support system built in made up of people who love you regardless it ain’t easy revealing anything personal isn’t easy and people on the receiving end of that kind of news might not be ready to hear what you have to say although you’d be surprised but the number of people that are today on wall cast we’re talking about a life-changing moment where you tell another person that you’re gay we’ll help you prepare for that moment whenever you decide to take it and give you some resources to turn to should you need them are you ready step 1 make sure you’re ready coming out is a personal decision and it’s completely up to you when you decide to do it go with your gut and remember that coming out is an isolated incident it’s a process of being open and honest with yourself and others that trust us gets easier over time that process is different for everyone though so don’t feel pressured to do it before you’re absolutely ready step 2 tell someone that you trust the hope is eventually telling someone you’re gay will be just an easy matter-of-fact statement but that first time will likely be pretty difficult hey it might even take you a couple tries before you can even get out the words here’s what we suggest tell someone whom you trust and who you know cares about you say a close friend an easygoing relative or even someone who’s already identified themselves as LGBT step 3 plan it out beforehand you don’t have to write out exactly what you’re going to say but having an idea of how you’re going to address the topic isn’t a bad thing be straightforward avoid the urge to preemptively apologize or make excuses Hey you control the tone of this conversation people will pick up on your attitude and often try to mirror it so don’t be down on yourself be honest and if you feel up to it try sprinkling in a little humor it can go a long way to ease a tense situation step 4 say it and after you do anything can happen on one hand the person that you’re telling might already know and hey they’ve been here for you the whole time it’s likely that this revelation might be a nice relief for them too because they can stop pretending but not everyone will react to this news calmly don’t freak out if a person’s initial reaction is strong or emotional it takes time think about how long you’ve known that you’re gay the person you’re telling will have to work with a much quicker learning curve let them ask questions and be prepared to answer them as honestly as possible step 5 above all remember this you’re not alone there are so many great resources out there and so many people who surround you with nothing but love and support yeah you might have some bad experiences coming out but if you keep being honest with others you’ll eventually find that more and more these interactions will go very well there’s nothing healthier and nothing braver than living openly as yourself and remember being brave is not being unafraid it’s doing something even though you’re afraid to do it there are several resources out there that can help you or a friend who’s considering coming out at wall cast we recommend the Human Rights campaign’s website right here which has great advice for all aspects of coming out also consider directing others to this place which offers programs for the family and friends of gay people if you ever feel overwhelmed sad or scared or just need someone to talk to call one eight six six for you Trevor it’s a free and completely confidential hotline all right well casters to recap we only have one piece of advice be yourself tweet us at watch webcast email us at watch webcast at gmail.com or leave a comment down below we’ll see you next time